Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
10:33 pm
Fri May 24, 2013

Limericks

Originally published on Sat May 25, 2013 8:21 am

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait. That's 1-888-924-8924 or click the contact us link on our website WaitWait.NPR.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and you can check out the latest How to Do Everything podcast. This week, Mike and Ian tell you how to get rid of all those delicious cicadas.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

MELISSA COSLIN: Hi there. This is Melissa Coslin from Granite Falls, North Carolina.

SAGAL: Oh, you sound like you're from North Carolina, and I love that because it's so lovely. Are you a lifelong North Carolinian?

COSLIN: Yes, yes, I am.

SAGAL: A tar heel?

COSLIN: Well, I don't say it that way, no.

SAGAL: What do you say?

COSLIN: I'm a huge Duke fan so...

SAGAL: Oh.

MO ROCCA: She's a Blue Devil.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Melissa, welcome to the show. Bill Kurtis here is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Ready to play?

COSLIN: I hope so, yeah.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: Leafy greens fill most people with fright, we're reluctant to take a big bite. But some veggies are pale and they're also quite hale, it's OK to eat foods that are...

COSLIN: Light.

SAGAL: Not light. It rhymes with that. One of the clues is pale. Let's hear it one more time and I think you'll get it.

KURTIS: Leafy greens fill most people with fright, we're reluctant to take a big bite. But some veggies are pale and they're also quite hale, it's OK to eat foods that are...

UNIDENTIFIED MAN #1: White.

COSLIN: White.

ADAM FELBER: White.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Yes. Now either you have a very interesting Sybil-like multiple personality thing going on...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...or you have somebody there with you helping you. Which is the case?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: (Unintelligible) help there?

COSLIN: You're not going to buy that I sometimes talk really fast and deep?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, do it for me now. Give me - show me your other voice.

UNIDENTIFIED MAN #1: Hello.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's really good.

FELBER: On behalf of National Public Radio, I want to apologize to you for doubting your word.

SAGAL: Yes, it is white. We've heard for years that we need to eat our greens, right? Spinach, celery, broccoli, Mountain Dew. But...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...researchers from Purdue University say we need to also eat our whites - cauliflower, potatoes, cream of mushroom soup, whipped cream, paste.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Packed with essential vitamins, nutrients and adhesives.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Spackle.

SAGAL: Yes. Lick it off the spackling knife. Marshmallows. It's a food group, enjoy. Here's your next limerick.

KURTIS: Without coffee my brain turns to mush, but each morning I'm in a big rush. So I'll get some caffeine as my teeth get real clean from these chemicals here in my...

COSLIN: Brush.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Very good, brush. Notice you did that in your own voice. No time for your morning coffee, good news. Colgate has invented a toothbrush that shoots caffeine into your mouth as you brush.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Each brush comes equipped with a built-in caffeine capsule available in a variety of flavors, including minty fresh, spearmint and stale coffee breath.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here's your last limerick.

KURTIS: That Dove sketch ad sings a false ditty, to hard facts our soft ego shows pity. When our features we judge, our mind likes to fudge and we all tell ourselves we are...

COSLIN: Pretty.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: About a month ago, Dove soap released this ad that went viral. It was all about seeing yourself for how beautiful you really are rather than the hideous monster you perceive yourself to be. Well, it turns out we don't have that problem because according to actual social science researchers we actually are hideous monsters. In fact, most people think they're much more attractive than they actually are. Most other people though. All you guys, you don't give yourself enough credit.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: If we really thought that would we be in radio?

SAGAL: That's true.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Melissa do in our quiz?

KURTIS: Melissa did great. She got three correct.

SAGAL: Well done.

KURTIS: Good job, Melissa.

(APPLAUSE)

FELBER: Good job.

SAGAL: Thank you so much for playing.

COSLIN: Thank you.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.