Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
9:00 am
Sat March 31, 2012

Limericks

Originally published on Fri March 30, 2012 10:52 pm

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924.

You can click the contact us link at our website waitwait.npr.org. You can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, and check out our "how to do everything" podcast. This week: how to fix that iPhone you just dropped in the toilet. You know who you are.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

MARISSA KENT-WHITE: Hello.

SAGAL: Hello, who's this?

KENT-WHITE: This is Marissa from Asheville, North Carolina.

SAGAL: Hey Asheville, a great place, one of my favorite cities.

KENT-WHITE: Oh, I love it too. It's beautiful.

SAGAL: It's beautiful. And what do you do there?

KENT-WHITE: I am a marriage and family therapist.

SAGAL: Uh-huh.

KENT-WHITE: So I work mostly with children and families, doing family counseling.

SAGAL: Do you ever, like, snap in the middle of a session with a client and go "what the hell is wrong with you?"

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's just nuts.

KENT-WHITE: There was a time. Let me tell you this. There was a time, I actually went to grad school at NIU, and there was a time where I sitting in session with a client and they were telling me a problem, and I'm sitting here thinking, oh my god, this person needs a therapist. And then I go, oh my god, that's me.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

KENT-WHITE: So yeah.

SAGAL: And you knew they were in good hands too, so.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

KENT-WHITE: Right. Hey, I was in training. I can say that that was probably a normal thought to have as a new therapist.

SAGAL: I can imagine. Well, Marissa, welcome to the show. Carl Kasell is going to perform for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Ready to play?

KENT-WHITE: Yes, I'm excited. I have to tell you...

SAGAL: Yes.

KENT-WHITE: ...I'm 36 weeks pregnant and my baby is so excited it's kicking.

SAGAL: Oh wow.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Wow.

BRIAN BABYLON: Wow.

SAGAL: So when are due?

KENT-WHITE: When am I due? On Earth Day, April 22nd.

SAGAL: Oh my gosh, so you're almost there. Is this your first?

KENT-WHITE: Yes, I'm almost there. It is.

SAGAL: Oh wow, that's very exciting.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, that's neat.

KENT-WHITE: It is so exciting and a little nerve wracking. But yes, so the baby is kicking away right now. So if I don't get any of the answers right, it's the baby's fault.

SAGAL: Okay.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

MAZ JOBRANI: Tell the baby to wait, wait, don't kick me.

CARRIE BROWNSTEIN: Exactly.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

KENT-WHITE: Okay.

CARL KASELL: When Olympians visit the Queenie, we can't have on things that are teeny. Decorum oft squeams at beach volleyball teams. So this time we'll lose the?

KENT-WHITE: Queenie, teeny. hmm. Can you do that one again, Carl?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

KASELL: Sure. When Olympians visit the Queenie, we can't have on things that are teeny. Decorum oft squeams at beach volleyball teams. So this time we'll lose the?

KENT-WHITE: Bikini.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Due to concerns from countries more modest than we are, the London Olympic Games announced that female beach volleyball athletes will not be required to wear the familiar bikinis, but instead can wear gym shorts and t-shirts in competition. And with that, every man on earth stopped pretending to care about beach volleyball.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KASELL: Want a taco? I'll pick up the phone. Through the window it soon will be flown. Our new war time tech keeps my hunger in check. it's delivered by small, unmanned?

KENT-WHITE: Hmm, I want to say phone but...

SAGAL: No. It's a high tech thing, it's unmanned, it flies.

KENT-WHITE: Drone.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Yes, drone, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BABYLON: Whoa.

SAGAL: Finally, the taco copter is here. It's a helicopter drone developed by some nerds in California. Just place your order in your smart phone and moments later, tacos will drop from above as delivered by drone helicopter.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The bad news is it's illegal. FAA guidelines ban the use of drones for non-military purposes. Your only choice is to get your mouth classified as an enemy combatant.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: No, Peter, I need us to revisit that. I'm digging this drone thing.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Really?

JOBRANI: It's got to be military operation. What if on the way to bombing somebody, they drop tacos?

BABYLON: Drop a few tacos or something.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Wow. Is this in California?

SAGAL: It's on the way.

BABYLON: Is this something in California?

SAGAL: Well some guys in California thought it up, but it turns out they can't do it because...

POUNDSTONE: Well, what do you mean they thought it up? Everybody thought it up a long time ago.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: How many times have you been like geez, I wish I had a taco? You know, I don't feel like going to get it. Wouldn't it be great if an unmanned drone dropped it?

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

JOBRANI: Iran got a drone. It wouldn't give it back.

SAGAL: Really?

POUNDSTONE: Oh that's right.

JOBRANI: And Obama asked for it. Go ahead.

BABYLON: I got to get that drone back from you.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right, how about Obama ordering a taco? go.

BABYLON: Oh let me get, uh, two hard shells, with...

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: And, uh - no, no, make it steak, make it steak.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: Oh my gosh, that's funny.

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

KASELL: I think Jayden's all turn out the same. It felt fresh then, but now it's just lame. It has so much hype but he's just not the type. I regret that we gave him that?

KENT-WHITE: Name.

SAGAL: Yes, name, very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Parents, according to psychologists, a disorder known as baby name regret is on the rise.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All of the sudden you realize that maybe Laseblast Cyclone may not have been the best name for your baby girl.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Experts say it's caused by the baby name books which offer too many choices, postpartum hormones and the fact that you're Jay-Z and Beyonce.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Marissa do on our quiz?

KASELL: Marissa had a perfect game, Peter. Marissa, three correct answers, so you win our prize.

SAGAL: Well done. Congratulations.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

KENT-WHITE: Thanks for having me.

SAGAL: Thanks for being on the show and good luck with the baby.

KENT-WHITE: Thank you so much.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.