Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
3:20 pm
Fri March 7, 2014

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Originally published on Sat March 8, 2014 9:03 am

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

It's time to move on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: We have a tie for first place, Peter. Adam Felber and Mike Birbiglia each has three points, Faith Salie has two.

SAGAL: OK. Faith, you're in, surprisingly, third place, so you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. Federal officials announced Thursday that people can keep their insurance plans that don't comply with the standards of blank for two more years.

FAITH SALIE: Obamacare.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the Senate blocked President Obama's choice to head the civil rights division of the blank department.

SALIE: Justice.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Although Ukrainian officials called it an illegitimate decision, the Crimea parliament voted Thursday to rejoin blank.

SALIE: Russia.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week the US Mint announced that it has no evidence linking the stash of blanks found by a California couple to a robbery.

SALIE: Gold coins.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A discount store customer in Kansas was injured after getting in a fight with a blank.

SALIE: A parakeet.

SAGAL: No. A self-checkout machine. Although parakeet is often a good guess on this show.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Because of the recent breach of customer data at their stores, a high level executive at blank has resigned.

SALIE: Target.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Officials in Chicago announced this week that the tradition of dying the Chicago River green would go on this year even if the river is blank.

SALIE: Frozen.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A new study finds that...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...one in ten people believe that the programming language HTML is blank.

SALIE: An STD.

SAGAL: That's right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Ten percent of people thought HTML is an STD.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Ironically, the people most familiar with HTML have the lowest incidence of STDs. The survey - and these are all true by the way - we did not make this up - also found that 15% of Americans believe software is a term for comfortable clothing, 18% think Blu-Ray is a marine animal, and 23% believe mp3 is a robot from "Star Wars."

(LAUGHTER)

MIKE BIRBIGLIA: Love that guy.

ADAM FELBER: That's a mean study there.

SAGAL: It is, yeah.

FELBER: Hey, granny, I'm going to make you look dumb.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Faith do on our quiz?

KASELL: Faith had seven correct answers for 14 more points. She now has 16 points, and Faith has taken the lead.

(APPLAUSE)

BIRBIGLIA: You're so fast, too.

SAGAL: All right. We have flipped a coin and Mike has elected to go next, so fill in the blank.

BIRBIGLIA: When you were doing it with Faith and you would say blank, my mind would go blank.

(LAUGHTER)

BIRBIGLIA: So I'll do my best. If possible, I'd like to just do her questions.

SAGAL: It's not...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...it's not an instruction, it's an opportunity.

BIRBIGLIA: OK.

SAGAL: Here we go. "Twelve Years a Slave" and "Gravity" were the big winners at this year's blank ceremony.

BIRBIGLIA: Oscars.

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, the social networking site blank announced that it will be changing its newsfeed.

BIRBIGLIA: Facebook?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Jurors heard testimony in the murder trial of South African runner blank this week.

BIRBIGLIA: Pistorio, is that that case? No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yeah, it's close enough. It's Pistorius.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

BIRBIGLIA: Pistorius.

SAGAL: In an article this week, the newly relaunched Newsweek magazine claims to have unmasked the creator of the crypto-currency blank.

BIRBIGLIA: Bitcoin?

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A Florida man arrested for drunk driving explained to police that he was drunk, but that he was just trying to blank.

BIRBIGLIA: Go home.

SAGAL: No. He was drunk, he said, but he was just trying to, you know, drive it off.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Forecasters issued an alert Thursday saying there's a 50% chance the weather phenomenon known as El blanko will return this year.

BIRBIGLIA: Guapo?

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Mui Guapo.

BIRBIGLIA: No, no, no, dorado.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: El Nino. This week meat and cheese were added to the list of foods that will make people blank earlier.

BIRBIGLIA: Die.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Dove deodorant has agreed to scrap...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...billboards in New Jersey that blank.

BIRBIGLIA: Drive it off.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The billboards refer to New Jersey as - do you know?

BIRBIGLIA: No. They refer to New Jersey state?

SAGAL: No. As the, quote, "armpit of America."

BIRBIGLIA: Oh, that's (unintelligible), yeah.

SAGAL: The billboard reads, "Dear New Jersey, When people call you 'The Armpit of America,' take it as a compliment. Sincerely, Dove." Dove apologized, saying they only intended to, quote, "call attention to the fact that armpits can and should be considered beautiful." They've since replaced the billboards with ads for Dove's new back hair conditioner.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Mike Birbiglia do on his debut on our quiz?

KASELL: Mike had five correct answers for 10 more points. He now has 13 points but Faith still has the lead with 16.

SAGAL: All right. So how many then, Carl...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...does Adam need to win?

KASELL: Seven to win.

SAGAL: Seven to win. Adam, this is for the game. The son-in-law of al-Qaida leader blank went on trial in Manhattan this week for terrorist activities.

FELBER: Osama bin Laden.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: John Travolta inspired thousands of jokes when at the Oscars he introduced blank as Adele Dazeem.

FELBER: Idina Menzel.

SAGAL: That's good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: United Airlines announced this week that it will begin strictly enforcing rules regarding the size of blank.

FELBER: Carry-on.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Hilary Clinton drew fire this week for comparing Vladimir Putin's actions in the Crimea with blank's actions.

FELBER: The Nazis.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in India were able to solve a murder mystery after they got help from the victim's blank.

FELBER: Tiger.

SAGAL: No. Talking parrot. I told you.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Dennis Farina, Tom Clancy, and Ralph Waite were among those notably absent from the Oscar's blank segment this year.

FELBER: Obituary segment.

SAGAL: Yeah, in memoriam.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Five of the eight blanks swallowed by a sinkhole in Kentucky were recovered this week.

FELBER: Cars.

SAGAL: Yes, Corvettes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Police in India have failed to respond...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...to the hundreds of e-mailed complaints they've received since 2006 because they blanked.

FELBER: Forgot the password.

SAGAL: Right.

FELBER: Lost the password.

SAGAL: Exactly right. Eight years ago they lost the password.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Haven't been able to figure out. Police initially said they weren't responding due to a, quote, "technical problem." But when pressed, it turned out that the technical problem was that somebody changed the password to something harder to remember than the word password.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: It was password one.

SAGAL: Yeah.

BIRBIGLIA: I hate that.

SAGAL: Carl, did Adam do well enough to win?

KASELL: Well, he had seven correct answers for 14 more points. So at 17 points, Adam Felber is this week's champion.

SAGAL: Oh, my gosh.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well done, Adam. And in just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what vocabulary words will appear on the newly revamped SATs. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.